He Won't Get Out Of My Head
by gothic-one
Summary: Goody little two shoes Hermione? NO! Hermione has faced some bad things the last summer of her life. She now is a drug addict who doesnt care about anything. PLZ ppl I suck at summaries, so plz give it a try! its bettter than it sounds. DH hehe
1. Default Chapter

He Won't Get Out of My Head  
  
Hey ppl. This is a very interesting fic. It is my second stab at writing, so plz be nice! This story contains drug use and language, and also rape (not graphic), it is kind of a dark fic, but not. Anyway I hope you like! And Plz Plz (!) r&r!!!!!!!! Oh and flames are welcomed to feed the fire, (I guarantee I'll make an ass out of you)  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from this fic! I wish I did but I don't. No matter how out of character the ppl may be, I don't own them!! Oh and any stores and/or bands mentioned, I don't own. Don't sue me. If you did that would be gay, so GET A LIFE!!! Ok anyway moving on....  
  
Chapter one, Changes  
  
"What the hell?! Not Again!! Fourth time this week!" cried Mrs. Granger almost to herself, as she looked at her sixteen year-old daughter passed out on the floor, with an empty veil and a syringe needle on the floor next to her. Doing what she had done so many times before that summer, Mrs. Granger picked up her daughters frail form and laid her on the bed and covered her with her comforter and then left her to wake. But like anyone else would have done, she picked up the empty veil and needle and pocketed it, in hopes that her efforts would stop her daughter's drug addictions.  
  
Two hours later, around 1:30 pm, Hermione became conscious again and was feeling the worse part of the after-effects. "Oh my god, I feel like shit." She said to herself. After a while she got up and took a shower and then headed downstairs in only a black towel, to find her parents just about ready to walk out the door. "Where are you all off to in a hurry?"  
  
"We are going to Diagon alley to pick up your school things. Aren't you aware that term starts tomorrow?" said her mother, almost lovingly.  
  
"Ah fuck," said Mione, not caring that she swore in front of her mom, "Well in that case, I will be going out with Kelly tonight, I need to pick up a few...necessities" She said turning around and heading upstairs to get dressed.  
  
"Alright but be back before dark" Her father called up the stairs behind her.  
  
"Whatever, thanks for your genuine concern." She said sarcastically. Back in her room Hermione went to her dresser and pulled out first a midnight blue thong, and a black bra. Then she headed over to her closet and pulled out her favorite pair of pants from Hot Topic. They were of course, black, and in the back they had criss-crossing chains and they were super baggy. Perfect in her opinion. Then she pulled out a tight black shirt that came down far enough to show off her *ahem* stuff, and had a fireball with silver sparkles displayed on the front. And she also pulled out a huge black sweatshirt that said 'jnco' on the front. When she was fully dressed she went to her bedside and called up her friend. "Yo" she said. "Kelly there?" She asked carelessly.  
  
"Yes, hold on" said a female voice.  
  
"What up?" asked the sound of Hermione's best friend.  
  
"You wanna crash Club Midnight girl? It's my last night before term, school starts tomorrow."  
  
"Hell yea! I'll meet you at your place with the rest of the gang in a half hour. K?"  
  
"See you then." She said and hung up. Meanwhile, while waiting for her friends she went over to her huge stereo and popped in Korn. "This is the shit" she said, while applying the last she had of her black eye shadow and eyeliner. When she was done with the makeup part of her wardrobe, she went into her bathroom and brushed out her now long and straight, jet black hair. Her favorite part about her hair was the cherry red tips.  
  
"Lets go!!" Her friend screamed up the steps.  
  
"Coming!" she said, grabbing her guitar and bounding down the steps. Running outside she put her guitar in the trunk of the black mustang, along with the rest of the bands equipment. Over the summer Hermione had learned to play guitar, and was very good. So when she met her new group of friends they put together a simple band, that later turned out to be the hottest thing in her town. They had even landed a few tracks on the radio. In her opinion, she liked to compare their band Firewalkers, to Evanescence, not heavy metal, but super hard rock. She jumped inside and said, "Where to first?"  
  
"Well we could crash the mall. Our gig isn't till 7:00 and it's only 2:30." said Max.  
  
"Yeah she's right, and I need to get a few things from Hot Topic." said Hermione.  
  
As Hermione walked in through her front door at 4:00 in the morning, she didn't even bother to be quiet, because she knew that just like every other time, her father would be waiting for her. And where her father was, there was sure to be pain.  
  
"Where have you been young lady?!" he screamed at her, an inch away from her face.  
  
"I was out, like I said I would be." She said, getting a little afraid.  
  
"Out?" he repeated grabbing her arms, "out?!" he shouted, thrusting her onto the couch. Hermione knew what was going to happen next, he would tell her how much he hated her, how much of a waste she was, and how much of a whore she was. And then, as if routine, he would rape her. And like every other time before Hermione would lay there, emotionless until he was done, and when he left she would go to her room and cry. Yes, she would cry. Nobody had ever seen her cry, she wouldn't let her guard down like that, but oh, did she cry.  
  
"I hope you had fun, I know I did." He said. That was his trademark saying. Every time he was done he would say this. And before he turned around to leave he turned back to her and possessively and quite painfully put his mouth onto hers, shoving his tongue to the very depths of her mouth, tasting every last bit of her. Then he turned and left. When she was sure that he had gone, she slowly made her way up to her room and into her bathroom. She turned on the shower and first stood there in the freezing water thinking of why she kept letting this happen. And then she suddenly felt extremely dirty for not stopping him ever and wanted to be cleansed of his dirty self. So she then turned on the water to scalding hot as if trying to cleanse her very soul. And she stood there like that until she was sure to pass out. She then got dressed in her usual black boxers and black wife beater. And she knew what she was going to do next; she would sit on the edge of her bed, pull open her drawer and draw out her razor blade. She slit her wrist every time he raped her, and she now had quite a collection of scars. She slowly cut her wrist watching the blood come oozing out like water from a built up faucet. She then went over the slice a few more times, making sure it would stay there for a good long week or two. She then grabbed a black hoodie, pulled it over her head and quickly set her alarm. Even though she would only be getting about three hours of sleep, those three hours were filled with nightmares of her father. Because that's the way it was. He would always be there, no matter where she was, he would always haunt her.  
  
"Ha!" she said to herself, "he won't be at Hogwarts so I'll be safe for a while. From him at least.." She whispered, and then dozed off into an uneasy sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! BEEP!! rang Hermione's alarm clock at 8:00 that morning. "Dammit," she said. "uhg, fucking school." She said while rolling over and shutting off her very annoyingly loud alarm clock. Surprisingly, she was in a very good mood that morning, all because she would be leaving the Hell-Hole that she called home. She didn't plan on returning either. Once she graduated, she would come home that night, pack all of her things up, and leave in the middle of the night. After Hermione had taken her shower gotten dressed in her usual black baggy jeans, tight black shirt, big black sweatshirt and colossal amounts of black make-up and chains and spikes, she headed downstairs to see her so-called parents.  
  
"Good morning mother" she said happily, placing a kiss on her cheek.  
  
"My goodness good morning dear!" said a very surprised Mrs. Granger, touching the spot on her cheek where her daughter had just kissed her for the first time in a whole year. Although she was so surprised, she figured it best not to address it in case it pissed her off.  
  
"Don't I get a smooch?" asked her father.  
  
"Umm....no" said Hermione sarcastically, grabbing her jacket off the hook.  
  
"Can I ask where you're going dear?" asked her mother.  
  
"Oh I'll be back in about a half hour, I'm just gonna go say goodbye to the gang."  
  
"Alright, but be back before we leave for London, wouldn't want to miss you train, would you?"  
  
"Of course I'll be back before you leave, I wouldn't miss the train for the world." She said, glaring at her father before walking out the door. Walking to her friend's house she took a moment to realize just how much she had changed that summer, not just body wise, but overall everything. She was now a smoking drug addict Goth rocker who could really care less about a lot of the shit she used to. Why am I like this all of a sudden? She wondered to herself. It's your goddamn father that's why. She answered her own question. Oh damn him! She thought aloud. If it weren't for him I would still be little goody two shoes me. "Wow, Harry, Ron and Ginny will freak. Come to think of it, the whole school will probably freak." She said aloud. Oh well.  
  
"Promise you will write me like every week!" said Kelly to a departing Hermione.  
  
"Yea, yea. I promise!" she said with a smile giving all of her friends one last hug. "Ok you guys I really gotta go now, I'll miss my train If I don't go!!"  
  
"Bye!!" they all said to her, watching her turn around and run back down the five blocks to her house.  
  
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At the station:  
  
"Goodbye." She whispered in her mother's ear as she drew her in for a meaningful hug. "I'll write sometime!"  
  
"Good bye sweet heart" said her father wrapping his arm around her and groping her. Nobody could have saw what they were doing, unless they really would have been looking, which he thought nobody was. Except a certain someone who was watching from afar, did see what happened, and he also saw the look of uneasiness in the girls eyes as he did this. But even if he could have acted, this person didn't. Not as of yet anyway. He watched as the girl parted from her parents and went straight through the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and onto platform nine-and-three-quarters  
  
As Hermione really didn't feel like facing her friends quite yet, she hastily boarded the train and found an empty compartment. Soon after she got on, the train started moving, and Hermione was in dire need of a good smoke, so she dug around in the bag of 'goodies' her friends had given her and quickly found the cigarettes she was looking for. "Excellent" she said to herself as she lit one up. About a minute after she had started her cig, there was a knock on the door of her compartment. "Shit" she whispered. And put out her cigarette and did a quick charm to remove the smoke smell. "Come in." she said and stood up. She wasn't at all surprised to see that it was Malfoy and his cronies. "And you want what, exactly?" she asked cockily to a smirking Malfoy  
  
"Why should I tell you? By the way who the hell are you? Do you not know that you don't smart off to a Malfoy? And if you are completely stupid, do you not know that I am a Malfoy?"  
  
"I know exactly who you are," she said raising her head so they could see her face completely, "You're the cocky ass little Slitherin bastard that my friends and I have had to put up with for the past six years. They boy-who- has-everything. The-boy-who's-above-everyone. The-fucking-boy-who-has-so- much-goddamn-money-he-wipes-his-fucking-ass-with-it. Yes, I, unfortunately, know who you are."  
  
"Granger?!" he managed to say through his shock.  
  
"Yes, Granger. Poor, pathetic, bookworm, mudblood, Granger. But let me tell you something ass wipe,(ha ha see? I made a pun!lol.) I will not put up with you or your shit this year. Yes I have changed, and my attitude is included with that, so if you don't mind I would like to continue sitting here, undisturbed by your presence." She finished. Sitting down and pulling out her CD player, and started singing her favorite Evanescence song, Bring me to life.  
  
Wake me up inside Call my name And save me from the dark Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become.  
  
And Hermione got lost in the music as she frequently did, and she slowly fell asleep. She wouldn't be sleeping for long, because about and hour later, yet another bunch of people came bounding in the compartment. "Oh hey guys," she said groggily to the people she recognized as Ron, Harry, and Ginny. "What are you up to?"  
  
"Um, not to sound completely lost, but, who are you?" asked Ron.  
  
"Come on, you can't tell me you don't even recognize your own best friend when you see her!" She said standing up. The look on their faces when she stood up was the biggest Kodak moment she had ever seen or had the privilege to witness.  
  
"Holy.. 


	2. chapter two i thinki dk!

"Holy.....shit" said Ron.  
  
"What the...." Harry trailed off, lying Ginny in an empty seat.  
  
"What's so surprising to you people?" she said with a smirk to rival any Slitherin.  
  
"You look...." Said Harry slowly,  
  
"Great!" Ron said, cutting off Harry and jabbing him in the ribs.  
  
"Yeah, great" said Harry with a quizzical look.  
  
"So what have you been doing lately" said Ron  
  
"Not very much actually, here you two, sit down" said Hermione, moving her backpack and CD's. "My summer was boring as ever. Oh wait, one thing happened, I'm now in a band, I play lead guitar."  
  
"Wow!" said Harry and Ron in unison, sitting down.  
  
"Yeah, do you want to hear us play? We recorded a CD." She said turning around and reaching into the black backpack she brought with her. She turned around with the CD in her hand to find Harry looking astonished.  
  
"What?" she said, following his gaze to the floor. "Shit!" she said, seeing what he was looking at. When she was digging through her bag, she accidentally pulled out a pack of cigarettes and they had fallen to the floor.  
  
"You smoke?!" said Harry, looking just as aghast as Ron did.  
  
"Yes I do as a matter of fact! Do you have some kind of problem with that?" she stated, renewing her bad attitude.  
  
"Hermione, I don't know what the bloody hell happened to you this summer, but it has some kind of lasting effect on you." Ron said standing up and backing away.  
  
"Um...DUH! I could have told you that." She said.  
  
"I don't think I can be around you like this. You're too different from the way I know, or knew you."  
  
"The way you knew me? The way you knew me?!" she said raising her voice. "The way you knew me was little pathetic ass Herm who spent every waking moment in the god-forsaken-library doing extra credit when I was already top of the class. The way you knew me, was a little wimpy ass childish girl who had to have you two flanking me to, 'keep me out of harm' because I was to afraid to fend for my self! Well I'm sorry I have another life besides studies, I'm sorry I can stand up for my self, I'm sorry I trusted my best friends to accept me, and you know what? I'm sorry I don't give a goddamn FUCK!!!" she screamed. "You knew me right? Well you didn't know me well enough obviously by the look on you're faces. I'm tired of living up to your fucking expectations. So you know what? You can just leave. Wait, on second thought I'll leave. Maybe I'll find some real friends who don't care what I do and dress like." And with that she picked up her backpack, put on her headphones, and walked out the door, making sure it was slammed hard.  
  
After about fifteen minutes of walking through compartments getting goggled at, she finally found an empty one towards the front of the train. "Finally, maybe I can have an undisturbed smoke." She said to herself.  
  
"That's what I wanted" said an all too familiar drawl. And low and behold, standing in front of her, a Marlboro Light between his lips was Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Fancy a fag?" he offered  
  
"Well, well, good boy Draco doing something against the rules? Imagine that..." she said with sarcasm as she often did, grabbing the cigarette he offered.  
  
"Good boy Draco? What about you? Back there an hour ago I didn't even know that was you, not that I don't like the change." He said as she pulled off her sweatshirt to reveal a tight black long sleeved shirt that said 'comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable' across the chest.  
  
"So, mind if I sit here?" she said, lighting her cigarette.  
  
"Not really," he said motioning for her to sit across from him. "I'll just sit back and enjoy the view...of the scenery!!" he said seeing her questioning look of 'the scenery'.  
  
"Ok..." she said, completely unconvinced. As he looked out the window, she took the time to fully acknowledge the very changed Draco Malfoy. He was coincidently wearing black 'jnco' jeans, and a black long sleeved shirt that said 'Bounty Hunter' on the front. His hair was un-gelled and down, and the tips were dyed black.  
  
"Very hott" she said unconsciously.  
  
"Did you just say I was hott?" he questioned  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's true"  
  
"Oh, ya, you are to"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're hott to"  
  
"Think so?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Cool, why are you being so nice to me after I completely reamed you out back there?" she asked looking at him.  
  
"Because I deserved to get yelled at for the past six years." He said, returning her gaze.  
  
"Oh, so does this mean you can actually be civil to a.....mudblood?"  
  
"Oh about that mudblood shit, I'm really sorry. Turns out I am not a pure blood, my mother is a squib, never told my father."  
  
"Wow," she said tossing her cigarette butt out the window, along with Draco's.  
  
"So why aren't you with you're little save-the-world-from-all-harm- best friends?" asked Draco.  
  
"Oh, they can't handle the change. Apparently they 'can't be around me while I am like this' as they so blatantly put it."  
  
"Oh funny, same thing with Crabbe and Goyle. They are afraid of me. Talk about coincidence." "Yeah, you're alone, I'm alone." She said.  
  
"So do you want to be loners together?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
"I'm going to ignore the fact that that sentence completely contradicts itself and ask you, is this a proposal to be friends?"  
  
"Only if you accept"  
  
"So you're saying to just put all this shit behind us? This isn't a joke?"  
  
"Yes to the first part and no to the second."  
  
"In that case, yes I accept!!" she said smiling a true smile for the first time in 4 or 5 months. "Do we need to shake on it?" he asked, standing up and extending his hand.  
  
"Screw the handshake," said Hermione, lunging at his with a hug.  
  
"Hey, that reminds me, who was that man at the train station?"  
  
"Oh,"she said, sitting back down, not wanting to think about her father.  
  
Draco, seeing her uneasiness, said "hey if you don't want to talk about it you don't have to, unless you want to."  
  
"Well I don't really want to talk about it. But hey, do you know who the head boy and girl are?"  
  
"Hmm....think really hard." He said cynically, happy for a change of subject.  
  
"Well if you're not head boy, I am going to refuse the position."  
  
"OK" he said.  
  
"So how was you're summer?" she asked him. And for the next two hours they sat there, catching up on the six years they missed.  
  
"Would Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger please come to the front compartment?" rang professor McGonagall's voice, magically magnified. "That's us." said Draco, getting up and opening the door.  
  
"I can hardly contain my joy." Hermione said sarcastically, putting on her sweatshirt and pulling up her hood.  
  
When they arrived at the front of the train, professor McGonagall turned to Draco and said, "Mr. Malfoy, the head meeting is private. Therefore I am going to have to ask you're friend to step out."  
  
"Did you not call for Hermione Granger?" she asked, pulling down her hood. "Well it's me. I'm here. What do you want?"  
  
"Oh! Oh my!" said the Professor, looking as astonished as anyone. "Ok in that case, let's inform you of you're duties. You will obviously be sharing the same dormitory. There are two separate rooms, one bathroom, and a common room. The entry password is 'skittles'". Hermione and Draco both glanced at each other from the word 'skittles'.  
  
"It was professor Dumbledore's idea to put muggle candy names as this year's password choice. Also every night corridors must be checked after curfew, you may alternate nights or go together, you're choice really. Now then, everything clear?" she finished with an almost-smile.  
  
"Do we get to dock off house points?" asked Hermione wickedly.  
  
"Yes you do, but use the privilege wisely. And now since we are here you may get out and step into the heads carriage." And with that she shunned them out the door. As Hermione was walking to the carriage she thought that this year was looking a lot better then what she had originally thought. 


End file.
